Mary Ann DeKay

Mary Ann Dekay (née Sylstra), known to all as Suzie, passed away May 1, 2026, surrounded by family in Syracuse, NY.

Suzie was born October 27, 1942, in Norwich, NY, to Nicholas Lambert and Edna May Sylstra (née Schofield).

A creative and hard-working entrepreneur, Suzie owned throughout her career a clothing store (Afton, NY); Esther Immerman’s clothing store and bridal boutique (Endicott, NY); a gift store (Binghamton, NY); a Merle Norman Cosmetics Studio (Ithaca, NY); and, ultimately, the Island Soap and Candle Company that she ran out of her dream home in Holden Beach, NC. Suzie sold her candles and soaps at craft shows and stores and especially enjoyed working alongside her friends in the craft cooperative Duck, Duck, Goose in Southport, NC. Making soaps and candles was a true passion for Suzie, who never really retired.

Suzie is survived by three children from her first marriage to Daniel Lynne Frair—Deborah Ann Smiroldo (Winnabow, NC), Daniel Walter Frair (wife Evelyn, Greene, NY), and Jacqueline Leigh Frair (Syracuse, NY). She is also survived by three grandchildren—Fallon Emily Smiroldo (Winnabow, NC), Keirsten Leigh Peterson (husband Jacob, Port Crane, NY), and Alec Daniel Frair (Rochester, NY)—and many nieces and nephews. Her extended family, through her second marriage to Seeley Calvin DeKay (AKA Jimmy, divorced 2022), includes stepsons Timothy Robert DeKay (wife Elisa and children James and Dana; Studio City, CA) and James Curtis DeKay (Ithaca, NY). Suzie has two surviving siblings, Barbara Lee Mullaney (Ewing, NJ) and Anthony Wayne Sylstra (Virginia Beach, VA), and three pre-deceased siblings, Ruth Ives, Nicholas Lambert Sylstra Jr. (AKA Babe), and Richard Lambert Sylstra.

Suzie laughed often. She was caring, generous, frugal, fiercely independent, and stubborn. One tough lady, she lived and died on her own terms. Suzie spent her final year living with her beloved dog, Mikros (pronounced me-crow), and daughter, Jacqui, in Syracuse; having Monday night dinners with friends Tom, Michelle, and Benji Taylor; and being surrounded by a loving community.

Suzie asked to be cremated with her remains spread near her favorite beach.

Her family will hold a celebration of Suzie’s life on July 18 (with a rain date of July 19) at her son’s home in Greene, NY—all who love Suzie are invited.

Memorial contributions may be made to the Holden Beach Turtle Watch Program to help conserve the turtles and beach that Suzie loved. Click here to donate.

To share a memory of Suzie or leave a message for her family, please visit the guest book below.